What I thought and what I didn’t is really difficult to determine.

Some times I think I am very lucky:
Such as the new company I joined the environment was perfectly in favor of mine. I made the thing sort out and made plan how I can have my potentials and out come in a quick time. My goal was to get as much as customer in a very short time of period. So, I made my work in that way and it was very effective and with in a short period of time I got a very reputable client. I was flying at the time. I approached to a higher end customer and bid a tender for my company.

And I found a very good response from my client end before submission of proposal. At client side they knew me as the most efficient vendor among all others. I became very hope full of that at the same time I had the happiest news from my wife that I am going to be a father and she was pregnant of 3 months. The most beautiful days I was passing through.

After 2 weeks of hard work I could mange and prepared to make a quotation for the biggest client in my life and seeking my chairman for approval for it.
The next day I came office and suddenly heard news that at peelkhana, BDR head office there was a terrible thing happen and nobody new what it was. I got in to thought because BDR was the first client of mine in this new company. And we are about to sign up the agreement with in a few days.
It was a terrible thing happened in BDR, the most destructive killing had occurred at BDR peelkhan. And all the higher officials has been killed in that incidence. Almost 144 Army officers had died in the mishap.
It was very shocking for the whole country. I just felt sorry deep in heart. And after the incidence weather BDR is required or not for the country was the burning question. And my first try almost went in to vain.

After two days in a morning I wake up and saw my wife was crying beside me. I took her to bath room as she told and suddenly I saw blood on the entire floor. I got out of mind. My father was there at the time with me for visit my home for couple of days. He told me to go hospital immediately. I knock 2 near by hospital but as it was very emergency they told me to go another hospital. At last after passing heavy traffic jam and all the hassle I could take her to a big clinic. There she was operated and the doctor made abortion. By 11:30 AM she got out of danger. The nurse came with a bowl it was containing a baby of 3 months. A 4 inch long only a head and body with a small tail. The 2 hand was only getting to develop. It was my kid. My child but it could not get a chance to see the world. Suddenly my eyes got full of water. But I could resist my self.
At 12:30 PM I saw my wife she was sleeping at post operative room and her face was pale for lacking blood. And there she has to stay till evening. I rush to office because I had to submit the most biggest tender in my life with in next day and there had to do more paper work complete with in the night. Thank god my dad was there. I
I came office and prepare the most possible thing that could be done and send it for checking to my chairman sir. I hardly could do any thing. My PC monitor was getting fade all the time I hardly could resist my water falling. I hate to cry particularly in front of people. My chairman sir did work and make complete the proposal for me.
Next morning I came and make print out of the tender and submit it. But I lost the tender again. I remember the sayings once again, when bad thing comes; comes with so many and when good thing come; come with so many. After 3 days later when my wife went to kitchen to try weather she is capable or not after the operation she burnt her neck the worst.
Some times god get crazy. He think he can do some thing other than his won creation rule. But here is the limitation of creator. He can not do which is not his rule.
So I took all the incidence as the best thing for mine that has been selected by God him self.

Some times I ask my self why GOD/CREATOR/ALLAH is limited??? Why can not he go out of his rule???

How funny it is

The world is full of fun. The fun is all around. Pepole thinks one thing but the creator has decided another thing for him. And when he does work and expect the result in one way but god gave him some another thing for him. Then the human blame fate or god why he gave him the result which he does not desired. But he never thought the best thing has been decided for the human before he probably has born.
Now qustion arise why to work and why to do the things. Any one can think of it because creator made him think of it and he can not help it without doing it. and he gets a sdie of the work its just his fate that creator decided it before he born. He could not able to help himself without getting a side of the work.
I read a story long ago. It was about 3 jews and their fate. The 3 jews were very helpless and deprived of all blessing of almighty. One day god decided to make change their fate and send an angel to them for testing their changed conditions. But after having beeing blessed by god and changed of their conditions only one could be sucessful of the test of God. He remain the gainer and rest of the 2 became the same as they were.
It is very difficult to predict the creator in relation to the situation. God is unpredictable and no one can judge him with the situation happining/happened sarroundings.
May be the prophets has told him uncomarable becouse of the above reason.

What A Luck

Suddenly a new thing happened. The new thing is, nothing new has occured since the morning. It was surprising that at late after noon on the day I just passed away without any new occarance. It was very confusing for me. A 2/3 of day has been paased away without any new thing happening. So I started planning how to pass the day at the same way. Becasue I love new things every day in my life. So it was very charming and enjoyable for me not occaring a new thing for me. After a time being I just start to float in air because there have not occar any new thing on the day. I tried to remember how many days I have passed like this. I failed because there have been hardly any day without a new thing in my life. I thought I must celibrate the day. So I bought A full bottle of bear for me. And start to a safe place for drink. Because it will be nearly crime to my family if I caught with a bottle of bear. I took a CAB and came to a river called TURAG near by my house. I took a loong breath and sit with the bottle. And suddenly I remember my MOM at home. I never could have done any thing for her. I always tried to do some thing for her but I failed because I dont have ability. I take a very deep breath and look at my hand which is holding the bottle of bear. I recall my mind at a time I used to have at least a bottle at every noon. But for last5/6 years hardly I took 5/6 bottle. A long breath came out of my lungs. I through off the full bottle in to the river and thought at least I can do this for my mom.
Back at my home I felt heavenly and before going to bed I realized a new thing has been occured in that day also.

What a luck!!! God, why there is always new thing happens in my life daily? Even it does not happen also????
Sahriar
17-11-07

Controversial Education

It was 1987 when I was in class 7th standard. In Bangladesh we were habituated of 3 types of education media. 1. Bangla medium, 2. English medium, 3. Arbi medium. I was in Bangla medium. We had to study several books at class-7. In one text we have read a very good topic on a theory of Mr. Charles Darween. The theory was known as Evaluation theory of Human or some thing like this , I can not remeber at this moment very clearly. We come to know from the theory that animals are changing in physical, mental and behavioural for surviving in the changing environment in this world. In that way human has changed from it's original shape to at this current shape to survive the cirumstances. The ancestors were similiar like Monkey kind of animal. I was very impressed with the theory. And It made me think for at least a while even on my 12 year brain.
We had some more books to read on. Among them another was religion. As I was Muslim I had to read the book of Islam. The other cast used to read their religion book. In the book of Islam I read there is an all mighty who made us. And our ancestor was Mr. Adam and his wife the give birth us and we are in this world.

I konw religions are very controversial thing. And only belife is the base of all. But at class 7th standard I was very confused. If Mr. Charles Darween is true then why is religion? And if he is false then why Bangladesh Govt. gave us the book of complitely two diffrent concept.

I was cofused since then and just trying to find out by my own if there is any answer to it or not. I am 32 years of age now. Still searching for why??? And I am planning to tell it to my son to search the answer of it. Not asking any one because I had bad experience of misunder stand me.

Any way I am planning to switch of my job now. Life gets hell in one company for years. But I never for get to search the answer.

Sahriar
10-11-07

Catch 22

It was winter night when I got this book of Joseph Healer(I doubt the spelling). Actually I was gifted on an occassion of my birthday. After reading the book n was thinking what the hell has been written in this book. The author must be a huge head worth less piece of sheet. I just came out of my room with a cofee mug and start gossip with my friends who has been at the balcony proving their knowledge for a long hour. Participate in their gathering I just strated agrument aginst and also for of politics in Bangladesh. After all the huge and wisdom ful of descussion I gave my vote to the ruling party of all blames. But one of my huge head, wise friend ask me who select the ruling party? Answer was very easy the "Peoples". If people wants the person like the rulling party are eligble for rulling then they will of course rule. And they will rule as they are. They will do dirty things and pull the future of the nation in to great trouble. I thought he was logical. It's true in democratic country people is the source of all power. So Govt. corrupt because people are corrupt and helping corrupt people to form a corrupt Govt. But when to ask Govt why they are corrupt? The answer will be because people are corrupt. And from people we get a view that Govt is corrupt and they are making them to help the corruption. So who is to blame? Govt or people??? I just started remember some incidences
of Catch22.

After a long argue ment with my self only I just came to desicion that Catch22 is a very humarious and very good and interesting book I've enjoyed.

Sahriar

What is freedom?

Since I born, I've been taken care of by my parents. They have build me as they wanted. And when I got my intelligence matured I found that I'm over all a nice gentle and kind hearted boy(Compare to my sarrounding) I grew up with all the attention and care of my parents. When I got admitt in schools I strted my education with nice guidence of my beloved teachers. I got finsihed my education and go into professional life and started a job under a nice manger with all his care and extra guideness. When I got promoted then my gentelman director took over all my responsibilities and I started doing further job under his extra ordinary guidance. I got married(with guidence of my wife) and started a new life and suddenly discovering that my wife is guiding me towards a nice and happy future. She is very caring to me and selecting what to eat at dinner, as she is skill full in choosing colour and love me very much she is selecting my dress in every where. So when I am coming at office, I'm working under the guidance of my boss and at home my wife and dear ones are guding me towards a nice and happy life. I was thinking there are lots of people sarrounding me to do my job. Particularly incase of making desicions.Even I don't have to take any descion. People are doing it for me.
So I am a boss.

And I was realising that in this world only the saints were the real free persons.